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Girls’ Dealbreakers

Yesterday India Knight mentioned dealbreakers on BBC Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour programme and lots of people picked it up on twitter.  In fact, there’s an individual dealbreakers twitter account as well set up by a lady called Emily.

I remembered that in February 2004, when dating dealbreakers was a very relevant topic for me, I’d done a survey in the office and found that lots of people had a list. And as I had the list of dealbreakers for guys to hand yesterday, I put it up here.

So, here’s the full story. In pseudo-scientific way, I’ve included the question I asked – and all the responses are in the order they were submitted and are unedited.

The email I sent to colleagues: “Recent discussions have led me to try to put together a list of minor quibbles that a yound woman might have with a man. you know – those tiny things you notice where you suddenly think “oh no, this is never going to work…”. We’re talking the immediate turn-offs, dealbreakers. give me your suggestions and i’ll put together a list for a vote…”

The Summary: “hardly scientific, but in summary…

– girls seem to have a greater tendency to pick up the small details early on – spotting things which are immediate turn-offs. ones which got lots of votes were: bad teeth, white socks (not on a gym day) and there were various opinions on hair – but the gist was that back/neck not ideal.

– boys have a tendency not to pick up small details at first – tends to be the obvious physical points – but then can build a big list of what i’d call bug-bears later on – attitudinal things which they notice once they’re in a relationship.”

GIRLS will find the following things about BOYS a “dealbreaker”…

  1. * someone who gets their nails done
  2. * someone who spends more time in the bathroom than you
  3. * use of the word “lounge” or “toilet” (as in “I’m just going to the toilet”)
  4. * VEST TOPS – ESPECIALLY IN THE WINTER – ESPECIALLY WHEN WORN AS EVENING WEAR
  5. * EAR HAIR , NOSE HAIR, VERY BUSHY EYEBROWS THAT NEED TO BE TRIMMED
  6. * EARRINGS
  7. * A WALT DISNEY TYPE TIE
  8. * NAFF BOXER SHORTS WITH SILLY PICTURES ON (IF IT GETS THAT FAR)
  9. * KEEPS HIS SOCKS ON  (IF IT GOES FURTHER)
  10. * SOVEREIGN RINGS ARE ALSO A BIG NO NO!
  11. * FLASH WITH CASH
  12. * TIGHT WITH MONEY (ed. jeesus – you have to get it just right, don’t you!!)
  13. * puts x at the bottom of a text when he hardly knows you
  14. * hairy back
  15. * hairy chest
  16. * A SMALL GATHERING OF HAIRS ON CHEST IS WORSE!  A THIRTY SOMETHING STILL GOING THROUGH PUBERTY!
  17. * comb-overs – go bald with grace!!
  18. * hairy backs of necks
  19. * HIGHLIGHTS
  20. * bright white trainers
  21. * bright white trainers with jeans
  22. * WHITE SOCKS WITH DARK SHOES
  23. * wears briefs, or God forbid speedos to the beach
  24. * being effeminate
  25. * Obssessed by any sport!
  26. * Into crap music but thinks he’s cool
  27. * Maniac driver
  28. * Sexist
  29. * Bleaching of any kind
  30. * Sweaty armpits – that is insistent on displaying – bo of any kind
  31. * Fast cars
  32. * Men who lean in too close and spit on you as they gibber at you.
  33. * brummie accent
  34. * tracksuit bottoms
  35. * won’t dance/ can’t dance
  36. * general scratching
  37. * bad table manners
  38. * sweaty/ clammy hands
  39. * Excessive PDAs (Public Displays of Affection for anyone not in the know!)
  40. * Dwarf qualities
  41. * BAD TEETH
  42. * sitting strangely
  43. * Goatees
  44. * Men who collect anything (this happened to an old flatmate of mine. She went to a new man’s house for the first time to find his bed
  45. covered in soft toys).
  46. * Men who spend an excessive amount of time in the gym
  47. * Men who still see their ex girlfriend. A lot. And alone.
  48. * Men who refer to you as ‘babe’
  49. * Men who still live with their parents
  50. * Men who drink wine in the pub (maybe that’s just me)
  51. * no socks
  52. * no socks and loafers
  53. * Men who sit with their legs excessively wide apart
  54. * Picks his nose
  55. * Uses excessive amounts of hair gel
  56. * Overly tactile and clingy
  57. * or not tactile AT ALL
  58. * Carries a man-bag
  59. * A GUY WHO TURNS UP SMELLING AS IF HE’S COVERED HIMSELF FROM HEAD TO FOOT WITH 5 BOTTLES OF AFTER SHAVE
  60. * walking strangely
  61. * non-manly hands
  62. * sends red roses (ed. too much cliche apparently, not enough imagination)
  63. * books a romantic weekend for two – but chooses paris
  64. * being too masculine… farting in bed, etc.
  65. * bad breath
  66. * man without a plan
  67. * makes comments on your weight/eating
  68. * being a football hoolie
  69. * cheapness
  70. * white socks on non gym days
  71. * high trousers
  72. * Cheap Argos jewellary and lots of it
  73. * Crap Ringtones on fones ( i.e. feminine ringtones)
  74. * more make up than me
  75. * Hair worn brushed forward with pleanty of gel re prime trisha contestant
  76. * fussy eaters
  77. * brogue wearers
  78. * nasal hair
  79. * small hands
  80. * using a carrier bag as a main bag (i.e some men carry lots of stuff with them in carrier bags)
  81. * carrying loads of stuff in trouser pockets
  82. * Long Finger nails and long toe nails
  83. * Extra Long Last finger nail
  84. * Masses of Armpit hair

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  1. Andy Gardiner
    6 September, 2010 at 9:21 am

    Bloody Hell! This suggets that the ONLY reason for the “barren years” was an interest in sport (I didn’t get the man bag until recently). If only I’d known.

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