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1 day to go: Speech time
If you know me at all, you know that I love good process and planning. And graphs. And lists. I make lists. And then lists of lists.
Check a search for Groom Speech online and you, broadly speaking, get a series of links that would lead you down the path of banality. Luckily, I don’t need to use any of these suggested “jokes”, romantic notes or pre-prepared prose. I have a list to rely on. Having said that, if you’ve got suggestions, there’s nothing wrong with a bit of crowdsourcing so bung ’em in.
Of course, I get the easy job: thank people, make multiple mentions of “my wife” to rapturous applause and remember to toast the beautiful bridesmaids. I’m told that the BF, David, will have some things to say. He usually does. Based on what he said about the other daughter, FSIL Sarah, on her wedding day, it should be the most entertaining speech you’ve ever heard. No pressure David. And then there’s the BM, Steve. Such a good and supportive job so far. Such a good stag do. And I have every confidence he’ll deliver with aplomb.
Right. Better get it written then. Now, which ppt template to use…
3 days to go: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
PHEW – I’m glad i got that out of my system. better now. woke at 5.30 with a stonking headache – a sense of excitement, apprehension, trepidation and a list of things that need to get done. oh, and Old Red Eyes by The Beautiful South going round my head. pre-match nerves are a good thing though, right? – otherwise you wouldn’t enter the field of play geared up and ready to go.
anyway, tension always builds when you’re in the last days approaching a big product launch… the FMA conversion process being the most valuable project I’ve managed and this is definitely going to be the biggest party I ever have or ever will organise.
Obviously none of this has anything to do with being out on the town (liverpool) with some of the TMR management team and finishing the night with a Hemingway.
Rehearsal tonight. That’ll help calm everyone down then.
6 days to go: Last Lasts and the BEST rsvp
Less than a week to go now. Excitement with the FMA is so intense she will, actually, burst unless work can take her mind off next Saturday. Obviously I’m still completely unruffled. Looking forward to the skiing though. Oh, and the cakes (there’s going to be a good selection) and the party. And maybe the church bit. And all the rest to come…
The “Last Last” Syndrome has kicked in good and proper. The last saturday night out as a single man. The last haircut (sorry mum, I was never going to go back to the short, back and sides). The last friday at work, the last time of going to church, … the list goes on.
BUT, enough of all that. Firstly, I have to show you the BEST rsvp. My hat, real and virtual, tipped to Uncle George.
And just to be complete, another “last”, the last of the stats: 
Nervousness
“I’m just Soooooo excited!! It’s ridiculous!” she says. “In a week’s time…”
“Do you get nervous? I get these ridiculous ideas that i’m going to accidentally fall over and smash my nose in. Of getting a massive spot – or falling over and scratching my face, or smashing my teeth in. ”
No, I can honestly say I don’t get that kind of nervousness. The producer (natural control freak) in me gets concerned that every detail of arrangements might not go according to plan – but then I remember it’s quite simple: Vows then Party. Otherwise, no, no nerves. But I do get a warm glow from knowing I’ve made a cracking choice – perhaps that’s similar.
Good catch-up with Rod and Max today at The Story. And I’m delighted to see how many facebook friends keep in touch. As we go into the last week, welcome all.
15 days to go: The FMA – what does it *really* mean?
The Future Mrs Ayers?
The first step for most inquisitive people is simply to try googling it… and google has some pertinent suggestions as to the real meaning of The FMA:
- The Family Mediators Association – perhaps she’s likely to work wonders in bringing the Ayers and the Clough clans together.
- Facilities Management Association – yes, she’s good with the cooking and the cleaning.
- Fulfilment Management Association – feeling fulfilled is so important, and so difficult in this fractured world, I’m glad she’ll help me get there.
- Franciscan Mission Association – odd one this one… is there a group of ninjas called Francis who she sends on missions? or perhaps she directs the friars where to do good works?
- Florida Medical Association – I don’t think I’d be marrying her if this was the one. Although, nurses…
- Filipino Martial Arts – involves a lot of hitting you in the knee-caps or biting your ankles – and then nursing you on an NHS ward / nannying your children.
- Japanese Manga character the Fullmetal Alchemist – She is part-machine, with that ever-present sense of focus, after all.
- Free Music Archive – only if it has show tunes and 70s prog-rock.
- Federal Marriage Amendment – I don’t think so. Unless there’s something I need to know which she’s not telling me.
17 days to go: A Stag Stumbles
The other one is svelte
It wouldn’t be a stag do if nobody got injured – and I mean more than the battering taken by our livers.
At last night’s choir Andy hobbled in and revealed that, having eschewed the sensible taxi in favour of more shenanagins on Saturday night, he was then required to walk back to Banbury Farm. But, being a towny, he hadn’t factored in that it would be dark – pitch black, in fact. And that’s when accidents occur. See image of what happens when you’re inebriated and fall into a pothole. There is also a vague memory of taking a nap in a hedge for a while. Unsubstantiated.
20 days to go: RSVP update
Surged ahead on the emails, my total’s 43, the FMA’s is 27…
20 days to go: Blokes, Booze and Banter
Back in Black
An open letter to those in Charlbury in the last 48 hours:
Dear Gentlemen,
It was a simple recipe and one that worked tremendously well. Blokes, booze and banter. Thank you all for coming and for contributing to such a celebration of, er, whatever it was we were celebrating.
Another b, barrels, used well for drinking from and, earlier in the day, the over and under kind used with some success against the clays. The speeches at the end of dinner were great – and would only be better if I could remember what was actually said.
And finally I must give my thanks particularly to the brothers – BM Steve and FBIL Ferg – who combined brilliantly to organise everything. Gentlemen, I can’t thank you enough.
Pictures: Dapple’s are here and Steve’s are here.
If I don’t see you before, see you in 20 days.
big love. that is all. carry on. as you were.
22.5 days to go: Last orders, please
It’s my stag do this weekend. A tremendous job by the BM Steve to organise, communicate, chivvy and chase, ably abetted by the FBIL Ferg. Looking forward to it and I’m honoured by the number of guys who can make it. Either that or lots of them are feeling the same as Chris B said to me this afternoon: “I’m really quite excited – I mean, I don’t often have big weekends where you do things like this any more.”
Fi’s hen do last weekend was a cracker, by the sounds of it.
Click the image to enlarge
She came back elated and overflowing with the love her friends had poured out. The master-stroke was the board-games theme and the excellent work put in to create “Fiopoly… or Fiona and the Ginger Ring”. That plus the imported follicle extensions… good work ladies. I’m sure that the chaps have put equal creative thought into, er, how many pints they’re going to buy. which is nice.
Last time for everything: It’s when you’re in the run up to something that you start counting the time left. 12 more sleeps ’till we go on holiday, christmas eve eve, the last time i’ll go to the office before i’m made redundant, the last time i can go to the loo before I have to sit through yet more interminable warbling from the soprano oh why oh why did i ever agree to come to the opera i hate the opera, etc … you know the kind of thing.
I’ve not been getting any of these realisations, but I can feel they’re coming. Fi, on the other hand told me she has. So, over dinner, I asked “what kind of things?” “Well,” she says, “like just the other day I thought, that’s the last time I’m going to have my bikini-line waxed cut as a single woman.”.
No, not what I had expected either.
In other news, my dreams are getting weirder. Yesterday’s was a mishmash of inappropriate and embarrassing sexual relations, the problematic launch of a google product (why specifically a google product, i have no idea) and dealing with the fact that I was terminally ill. Other than that, it was a perfectly pleasant night’s sleep. I blame it on the copious amount of parmesan I had eaten before bed. cheesedreams rock.
Also, met the photographers on Tuesday – and they’re cool. The best thing – AND THIS IS FOR ALL YOU GUESTS – they don’t want to be standing around so they’re more than happy to be taking family portraits or pictures of couples during the evening. It’s all digital, naturally, so getting good shots is what they’re about, and Susie and Harley wanted us to actively encourage you to go up and ask them. We get a copy of everything they do whatever happens and however many pics there are – so if you’ve ever fancied having a serious professional (and usually advertising/fashion) photographer take a snap of you, dive in.
Click the image to enlarge
And finally, never mind the photographer, there’s a futurologist in the family, and an artistic talent, to boot. I’m so impressed with Stella FNIL (5)’s vision of what the wedding will look like – I particularly like the attention to detail of the high heels and hair lengths, and I’m now seriously thinking about a bow-tie and two-tone blue suit.
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